Pain

Have you ever loved someone? I mean, love someone who doesn’t know you exist? Someone who live, not only another country, but in other continent? With and ocean between you and this person?
I bet you haven’t!
Yeah, I love these five guys since they released their first single. It was on August, 2010. Since that they I become a fan of them. For almost six months I was the only fan they had in Brazil.
I’ve always tried to contact them, but it was difficult, and I could understand that. I really did. They are famous, a band, and I’m only a fan.
Okay, this is normal.
But them they started becoming more famous in Brazil. One day I got the news, they were finally going to Brazil, to support Justin Bieber on tour. I should be happy.
Well, I was not. Because unfortunately they went to play in Brazil when I wasn’t there to attend the concert. Once more I could understand that.
More chances would come, right? For sure!
But before the concert they become really famous in Brazil, and got a lot of fans. But with these fans, also they got a lot of girls of don’t really care about them.
And now I want to say what I want.
It is hurting deep inside of me. I was hurted by them.
I know they never meant this. I also know that they don’t know who are their really fans.
But it’s inevitable the pain of seeing all this girls, who met them 4 months ago getting their attention, while I am here for almost two years and have got nothing.
No, I’m not blaming them. I’m just saying what I am feeling right now.
Don’t judge me, and don’t think I’m not happy for my friends who got replies, RT’s or follows. I am happy for them.
But at the same time I’m angry. Because it’s not fair. It’s not fair that I’m giving my all to them and not getting anything. While everyone around me gets something and don’t do the same things.
Yes, some of them do give them all like me. Is not about them I’m talking about. Is the other ones. The ones who don’t care about this things.
Does it sound fair for you someone who mistreat Max’s girlfriend getting a follow from him, and I don’t?
I know how egoist this text sounds, but to whoever reads this: You would have to be feeling the way I am right now to understand this. And the feeling I wish to anyone.
I don’t want attention or what the hell you can think I’m trying to do. I am a writer, and that’s what I do: write my feelings down on a paper to try to feel better.
Feel free to read if you want, but understand that you are reading this because of YOU WANTED TO!
I’m in pain right now because all of the things that happened, but I’m not going to let this girls break me down! Whatever that happened today is not going to make me love them less, otherwise, I’ll love them more every single day.
I won’t stop loving or supporting them. I won’t stop spamming them and try to get an attention. I’ll keep on crying for them and being sad. But also I know they will always be the reason for my biggest smiles.
What they have done to me, belongs to me and stay with me. Whatever anyone says or do won’t change this.
So yeah, I’m hurted right now because of them, but I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. Because I love them and love goes through everything.
Please, guys, don’t ever forget: don’t matter what the fuck is going on, or how bad things are; someone will always be here for you, someone will always love you!
Tom, Max, Siva, Jay and Nathan: I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I’ll love you tomorrow!